Life Updates

 I have come to write here after one long year and so many things have changed. Of late, life has not been very kind but I am trying to find ways to make it worthy. When I posted a year ago, I was a Masters student and now I have completed my masters and attended the convocation too. And I have started believing that studying yields results no matter what because I scored really well in my masters. Touchwood. But I have also come to realize that this isn't it. I have this long term goal of pursuing a PhD and have already given NET but qualified PhD only which isn't a big deal (if you know this isn't even included in central universities). Idk why this criteria has been kept! 

Anyway... The last semester of my masters was the most memorable part and I miss my hostel and university. I also lost my grandfather this year just days before my birthday. I have faced reality checks and traumas ever since then. I seriously prepared for the NET this time but it seems like UGC doesn't want me as of now. There is also this person in my life who has a busy schedule himself and stays very far away but does give some quality time to me. I am, at this point, hating this monotonous life. I have received continuous rejections from so many areas but I am trying to do something better. I have to.

The year started with some good news that my abstract was being selected for a paper presentation at Dublin City University, Ireland. I was beyond happy. Then came the mail stating that they could not provide bursary because of their financial constraints. Dreams shattered. But still one of the best things that happened to me this year is that I visited my childhood place after 5 long years. It has changed so much. Developed so much actually. I was reminiscing each and everything. Then I came back today and started with my usual tasks. 

Thank you for bearing with me. I will keep updating about happenings. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Learning to be happy and coping with the fear of change

Image
It's the middle of the night now. There's no specific reason for me to stay awake at this time; just that I couldn't catch a sleep. Maybe it's better to write than lie in bed thinking or overthinking of bizarre things that might never gonna happen, but that can actually ruin one's mental health for sure. Midnights are perhaps the best time to write because one's thought processes are much active at night than day, or at least mine is. It's completely my perception, though. But almost everyone, especially students like me, would agree that sleepless nights show us all the insecurities of our future. All we imagine about our future is a complete utopian and romanticized situation with no struggles and hardships, just a dream job and family in a dream city. Only when comes a sleepless night than one perceive the reality that life isn't really based on utopia. There's challenge all the way through. All insecurities, anxieties, fears and nervousness mingl...
Read more

Experiencing mixed feelings about life

It's been quite a time I wrote a blog. Since the past month, my life has changed a full 180 degrees. I was somewhere and ended up in a completely different world. Well, not to be enigmatic, but that is what happened and I'm totally unsure of whether to be happy or not about it or just accept the fact that it's not just me who has ended up here but almost everyone pass through such a phase. I am talking about my hostel life. It's  not as easy or enjoyable as people thinks it is. Well, to be more specific, I'm currently doing my Postgraduation in Political Science from Banaras Hindu University, Varanasi and it's  the first time I am staying at a place all alone by myself. To many of you, it might sound ridiculous cause it's  not a big deal but try reminding yourself the first time you stepped out of your home all alone. The sudden increase in responsibility for yourself and your belongings is stressful, to be honest. To be able to include yourself in a differe...
Read more

Visiting the corners of Sundarbans

Image
I was having a  really tough time preparing for my third semester. Dealing with some personal problems that ate my mind up, backed by physical and mental health issues, I was having a hard time coping up. I have some observations regarding some issues that I faced but I’ll discuss it some other day coz today I’m here to share something else; something very beautiful that I witnessed. I gave my semester exam which was medium (results awaiting).  I was so mentally stressed for some unknown reasons that I couldn’t stay a single day in Varanasi after that, so I came home. Also, train journey is very stressful nowadays owing to the fact the number of train accidents taking place. Anyway, I came home and after two days I went on a trip to Sundarbans with my family. It’s so near to us yet I never had the chance to go there. Also, you’ll be surprised to know that I’ve never been to Shantiniketan. I expected the journey to be hectic coz it was just 3 days, but to my surprise the entire...
Read more